Love: My Miracle Baby Part 2: The Arrival of Barry Carter

Before I begin I just want to say that it has been a VERY long time since I have been on here, however, motherhood ain't no joke!!!! But I know I need to finish what I started and I am determined to do just that!

Now, February 3rd came and went and there was still NO Baby! My husband already took is paternity leave at his job because we just knew that baby boy was going to be here by now.  The irony of this whole situation is that for two years I could not hold a baby inside my womb and now my baby won't come out!!! So I had my doctors appointment the next day, Monday, February 4th and basically begged my doctor to go ahead and induce me.  I was struggling to breathe due to my asthma and walking was a chore within itself, because of back pains from past epidurals.  So my doctor scheduled for me to deliver my son the next day.

February 5, around 9:00am and I received the call to come to the hospital to begin the inducing process.  I am anxious and nervous all at the same time.  This was it!!! I did not take any Lamaze classes or watch delivery videos to prepare myself, because honestly each experience is different.  All I knew was that I wanted this baby OUT!  I wanted to see what he looked like and who he looked like.  I wanted to experience that instant love that everyone talks about when you see your baby for the first time.  Overall, I wanted to have a child call me mom (eventually) and know that I made this  miracle.

It's crazy how just a year or so before all of this, I was in a place where I wasn't sure if I would ever have a child of my own.  I have two wonderful stepsons or bonus babies as some would say, who I have had the extreme pleasure of practicing being a mom with for years now.  However, until you are a stepparent, you just don't understand that little innate feeling that I'm not their biological mother and they will never call me mom.  I love them as they were my own and I birthed them and often when we would be out, we would get the "Oh, you boys look like your mother!"  They would look at me confused and I would just smile and keep walking.  The sharp pain inside that says, "But I'm not and they know it, and do not know how to genuinely treat me because it can be confusing for kids sometimes."  However,  today they are teenagers and they show they love and care for me with hugs and concern looks in some situations.  We have grown together and learned our boundaries in the co-parenting and coexisting environment that we all were dumped into.

Back to the delivery though....So they prep me to be induced and warn me that I will begin feeling contractions as soon as my water is broken. BOY, were they not lying!  They broke my water and about an hour or so, in came the contractions.  I tried to hold off as long as I could but immediately told my nurse to phone the person with drugs to stop the pain!! I wanted an epidural STAT!!!

Once, I received my epidural I was pretty much good and it was smooth sailing, until my poor little guys head would not come down the way it was suppose to.  We waited it out for about 4 hours and his head did not budge.  The concern then began that the baby could begin to be in distress because of where his head was in the canal. So a c-section was our only option at this point. Honestly, at that point I didn't care what we did because I was exhausted ready to see my baby already! It was around 7:00 and hunger/anxiety pains were beginning to set in for me.

I was prepped for a c-section and rolled into the operating room.  A few cuts, snips, and pulls and before you know it I could hear my baby screaming! He was HERE!!! My husband got to cut the cord and brought him over for me to get a good look at him.  He was PERFECT!!! His little round face and button nose was ALL MINE!!! I could not wait to hold him and kiss him until infinity.

After I was closed, I was rolled into the recovery area where I met Barry Carter for the second time and held him close to my heart.  He was so gentle and yes, I immediately felt that instant love.  The nurse showed me how to begin nursing him and I was just in awe of this precious baby boy! He was worth every tear and pain that I have endured over the last 3 years.  His father was elated and kept saying how much he looked like our oldest Jahqualon.  He had a HEAD FULL of black hair and just the most perfect plumped lips.  He truly was adorable and the nurses all said how he looks like he's been here before.  He was very alert and just so darn handsome!  Then the little munchkin smiled and I noticed DIMPLES! Oh, GREAT...now I am more in love and I am going to be in trouble in the future with a cute little dimpled child.

I have my baby boy finally!!  Yes, he's been here before because my angel returned to console and let me know that I was always a mommy.  I have always been a mommy, but was stubborn with the thought of having my own child.

(Nine Months Later....)

Oh, CRAP!!!! It's Positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO??????